News | Calendar | Bulletin Board | Features | Swaps | Workshops |
Storytelling Tips | About the Center | Resources | Contact us!
 

Remembering Selma Wiener

June 29, 2007

The Storytelling Center has lost a dear friend — Selma Wiener, who passed away on June 20th. For many years she had been hostess for our swaps and often the smiling face of welcome to our workshops and concerts. She loved life and she loved story. She loved the Storytelling Center and we loved her.

When we learned of her death, there was an outpouring of loving memories.

Below is Mike Seliger's brief history of Selma's involvement with the Center and his deep appreciation of her. This is followed by some of the personal responses sent by many of our members. Clearly, Selma was loved by her storytelling family. We will miss her.

The Storytelling Center's October 21st concert honored both Ruth Lesh and Selma Wiener.

Selma Wiener was many things, and although for the longest time she never thought of herself as a storyteller/ performer, her life and openness to the world around her embodied story in the best sense.

Selma was a respected, published scientist, a world traveler, a superb hostess, a writer/editor, a collector of friends, a woman who loved adventure.

Her apartment became the home of the Storytelling Center's monthly swaps after Lillian Oppenheimer had left this earth. Storyteller and former Center Board member Laura Bobrow reached out to Selma as a person who could provide a welcoming site for the swaps, even though Selma did not profess to have any connection to the world of storytellers at that time. She continued to host swaps for more than ten years. What occurred there was often magical for both tellers and listeners.

And over time, Selma grew as both a sharer of stories from her own life and as a devoted listener with a clear sense of what makes a good story.

As a Board member, Selma was always a willing, helping hand, as well as frequently being the host of board meetings as well. When the Storytelling Center needed to find a new space for its workshop series, it was Selma who joined the Estonian Society (perhaps the least Estonian member they ever had) to enable the Center to rent space there.

It probably took more than three years of Swaps in her home before Selma actually chose a story to learn and share in the group setting. But she had frequently, before that, simply told about the amazing things that happened to or around her as she went about the business of living with open eyes and open heart.

Her description of an encounter on a bus, in which her offering a person her seat promptly led to eye contact communication from other bus riders, her story of how she came to possess her cat, her describing recent travels (often with rolls of photos to share), encounters, magazine material, or even the struggles surrounding a hip replacement were always shared with a sense of humor and a strong sense of humanity.

When Selma had her hip replacement, she obtained a chair that was the height of a stool but with the comforts of a chair with a back, arms, and seat cushions. As she recovered and did not need the chair, she entertained thoughts of disposing of it, but the chair quickly became the favored place for many Swap tellers to sit to tell their stories. So the chair stayed and was well appreciated.

Frequently at those swaps Selma would have invited people from other parts of her life — students in an ESL [English as a second language] program at New York University, old friends who had no interest in becoming tellers but who would enjoy being the audience, etc. And all would feel reassured that they were indeed in the right place.

Sometimes, before the "official" start of a swap, Selma would be telling us about her world travels or about some adventure that she had experienced in her travels around the city. This often carried on well past the swap start time, blurring the lines of when story sharing became story swap time, which certainly seemed to work well, whether planned that way or not.

I can't think of a single time in the years I knew her, that Selma did not express sincere pleasure at seeing me and ask truly interested questions about what I and my son were up to. I believe that same warmth radiated out from her towards most people she knew, and many that she did not. And I bet that warmth was always rewarded with new news, adventures, and more things worthy of sharing at the next opportunity.

Selma Wiener opened up her home to the storytelling community, which might not have flourished in the same way if she had not done so.

I'm glad to have known her, and am richer in experiences for our paths having crossed.

Mike Seliger.

I feel so blessed to have known Selma. We shared dinners together and whether they were at restaurants, or I brought food to her apartment or we ate international frozen food from her freezer, whenever we ate at her apartment we'd look at the night lights and she'd take out photos.

She grew up in a cooperative living building surrounded by loving families. She glowed when she talked about her parents, they adored her and encouraged her to do what made her happy. The stories that she told about her parents and the fun that all the families would have in the courtyard of their building, picnics, games, etc., she would giggle and giggle.

Sometimes we'd talk about science. We'd look through her current periodicals and she'd talk science, and about her students, the stars who stayed in touch and the ones that frustrated her. Being with young people (and the young at heart) made her so happy.

Selma's personality was peppery! Tart but sweet, perhaps an acquired taste. Her eye was critical and her tongue, sometimes uncensored. But she was very generous with praise when she felt it was deserved and with people who were in need. She didn't advertise it, but she'd helped many students and even coworkers at the [American Museum of Natural History] who were financially strapped. She was a good judge of people and I don't ever remember her once telling of anyone who did not pay her back.

Selma was very appreciative too, Years back when she broke her hip and was facing a long recovery, I was one of many who visited her. I brought her a white mouse puppet (she was big on skills and I thought she'd have fun with it during the hours she'd be immobile). For years, she never failed to tell me in cards or in person, how the mouse was doing and how much she loved it.

I was looking so forward to seeing her at the Dessert Party! She had collected the money at the door for several years, and I liked sitting beside her (we'd giggle and talk about men!) She loved being a part and doing her part for the Storytelling Center.

I am sure she is up in the twinkling night lights, whispering and smiling, encouraging each of us not to hold back from livin' life and doing our dreams.

Blessings and love Selma,

LuAnn Adams.

I often would arrive early for board meetings and have tea and sometimes dinner with Selma and often Marilyn. It was one of those civilized pleasures to sit and speak of the Museum of Natural History where she worked as a docent, and of the senior center where she took French, and of course the story which had just happened to her. She told me the history of the art on her walls which came from friends and the stories of her neighbors and the strangers she would meet. She was just a really nice person.

Gerard Fierst.

What I remember about Selma was her presence and sweetness. Reading the touching e–mails everyone is sending I realize that the Center was very important to her life. She thoroughly gave to everyone of herself and her space, and received from everyone the pleasure of story and friendships… with no need for recognition, return, just the sweetness of being part of something she loved.

Laura Simms.

Would I be a storyteller if it weren't that Selma had opened her home to swaps after Lillian Oppenheimer's death? Where would Carol have told me to go after she brought a Storytelling course to a Senior Center 10 years ago? I sat without telling for a year at Selma's not daring to tell — I was afraid I would not remember it all. HA! What I do remember is Selma's welcoming smile… Hers was cheerful hospitality… and she served the best cookies!

Margaret Dawson.

She was a generous woman.
She was courageous, too.

Laura Bobrow.

Selma was a very nice being.
She always seemed so incredibly generous.

Mara McEwen.

Selma was such a cool person to give her home for board meetings, to come to every event and even participate in workshops. She was in my group at Bob Reiser's workshop and she told a very sweet story. She was very shy about telling but she said people always said to her that she told good stories. She loved storytelling and she loved cats. I remember during our board meetings Selma would be sitting on the couch and her cat would jump in her lap and purr as Selma stroked her. She was an interesting person and very engaging to talk to. I'll miss seeing her and talking with her and smiling at her smile.

Joy Kelly.

It's shocking how suddenly things can happen! Good reason to get around to doing all the things you mean to do someday. I think Selma did a good job with that. She didn't sit around. She engaged herself in life.

Selma loved people, and that's a way of loving stories. She loved sharing her beautiful apartment with friends. And she loved us to so graciously keep letting us come over for so many years and to give up weekends in the country to help at our events. She would call up and talk to me and refer to all of us as "the gang." I always felt like I was in a Little Rascals comedy when she said that. Not a bad thing at all.

She was a good woman. I will miss her.

Marilyn Iarusso.

Selma reminded me of my Aunt Francis — a true lady from a generation I never quite got to know, but wished I had known. It is extraordinary how unselfishly she gave her time, her living space and her energy to the center without asking for anything in return. Storytelling has lost a generous and gentle friend.

Bob Reiser.

I was saddened to hear about Selma's passing.
I always found her upbeat and enthusiastic and kind and a very good listener.

Rivka Widerman.

Selma was always so supportive of the series at the Cornelia Café and attended whenever she could. She loved to say, "after all, the Café is practically in my backyard." She did swap once in awhile and everyone enjoyed her telling. I loved the "twinkle in her eye."

Barbara Aliprantis.

There was never a time I that I did not feel welcome at Selma's. "Selma," I would ask on the phone, "What time will we be meeting tonight?" "Six–thirty," she would respond, "but come early, we'll share some supper." Later, coffee and cookies would await the Board members. At night's close, Selma was always reluctant to see us depart. A story about her cat or her English students would ensue, and we would listen together.

On other occasions, Selma and I would meet at Teachers' College. She was never without hugs and insightful thoughts to share. I shall miss her presence, her enthusiasm and her perpetually positive spirit.

Jean Hale.

Walking into Selma's house, there was a strong sense of purpose, goodness, and great furniture! Books, magazines, interesting toys, articles, beautiful modern wood furniture. A wonderful view. Comfortable couch. Nibbles set out for us on the table. Pictures and objects. Each time I came, I noticed more.

Each time we met, we talked more. Wow! What an interesting woman! And, how kind she was! What an interested listener. She was, in the best sense, "of service to others."

Robin Bady.

When I remember personal conversation times with Selma, in addition to her shy pride, is the story she told of one of her years ago science students who kept contact with her way into his adult and current life. He regularly invited her to spend holidays with his family, apparently a tradition for them all. Therein lies an ongoing testimony to the appreciation Selma garnered in her professional and personal journey, and the affection she engendered.

Ron O'Reilly.

We have all lost a good friend of storytelling and a great listener! This was one of the qualities we had loved in our dear Lillian and that we found in Selma, too. I always loved and appreciated her warm beautiful greetings!

Peninnah Schram.

Well, I guess I knew Selma better than most… I spent a weekend at her place upstate and went with her to the ballet several times. The New York Storytelling Center was indeed very important to her. It's true, we were fortunate to share her generosity for the Swaps, and in return this gave her much pleasure. Her volunteer job at the [American Museum of Natural History] gave her enormous pleasure because as she had been a science teacher she found a special niche there. I'm glad Selma was able to attend the last party at Marilyn's loft and happy she left this world without suffering long term pain.

Carol Lewis.

It is sad, surprising news. She was always there! Now she's not.

Bill Gordh.

Selma always showed up. And always with a smile.

Regina Ress.